The Colonel's Decision
by Mister Buch
Summary: One-shot. A very serious and dramatic story about Kahlee Sanders. I don't do parodies anymore. This is serious, so sit up straight.


**The Colonel's Decision**

A very serious and non-humorous fanfic which dramatically expands the character of Kahlee Sanders, from the Mass Effect novels.

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The bridge of the _SSV Tai Shan_ was magnificent. The Alliance dreadnought was one of only six allowed by Citadel conventions. Of course, the recent power shifts in the Citadel following the Reaper attack meant humans had more sway, but these things took time. For now, the human military was limited to six dreadnoughts, so every one of them was perfect.

The floors were perfectly clean and the crew was handpicked by the Supreme Commander. As she strolled along its pristine floor with her hands clasped firmly behind her back, Kahlee found it impossible not to feel a measure of military pride.

She was unused to such feelings. Though she had officially been an Alliance officer most of her life, she had initially studied and worked as a scientist. Her brilliant academic skills had never really gotten her anywhere but into trouble, however. Twice in her life, fate or some other force seemed to fling her into battles and adventures. She had been no soldier, but she had always come out in one piece. Her strange ordeals had led her escaping a massacre, being hunted by a battlemaster, stealing a shuttle and fighting on front lines and starships. Eventually, when her last adventure had ended, Kahlee had simply given up resisting.

There was no point in denying her destiny any longer; she was meant to fight in the Navy. And so she re-enlisted as a Second Lieutenant. The exemplary reflexes and skills she had learned in her travels helped her, and before long she was a Lieutenant Commander. Years of defending humanity followed, and she continued to impress her superiors. Life in the Navy was simple; the Admirals would just give her a ship and tell her where the bad guys were. She would fly over, dispatch a ground team and wait until it was done. Nothing more. No shady breakthroughs in illegal AI technology, no backroom deals with Ambassadors. It felt right.

Nowadays she wasn't even involved directly in the fighting, but that was no bad thing as Kahlee was aging a little. No longer the beautiful blonde at the mercy of batarians, rogue black ops organisations or whoever happened to be after her that week, Kahlee had grown and matured, become strong and unyielding. But as her mind matured so had her body. Now she served humanity's interests better with her confident words than with her scientific research, her fists or her trigger finger. As she scratched the side of her head, pushing the greying edges of her hair aside to reach her temple, she surveyed her ship.

As of today, Kahlee was no longer a Commander, no longer a Captain, but a Colonel. She had earned the prestigious rank after a gruelling mission preventing a geth offensive in the Attican Traverse. As of today, the _Tai Shan_ was hers.

When at last she had walked the length of the mighty battleship's bridge, she found its previous custodian, Major Holsase, staring at her impatiently. Fighting the temptation to smirk, she raised her chin a little to show him that his attitude was unwelcome.

"Glad you could tear yourself away from your little tour of the ship, Colonel," he spat, ignoring her. "Perhaps you'd like to take away my final duty and order us home."

_Order _you_ home,_ she thought. _The rest of my crew are staying aboard_.

"Wouldn't think of it, Major."

"Hm. Very well," he said, not finding anything in her words worth attacking. He turned his attention to his team of helmsmen and growled what he assumed to be his final command to them. "Take us back to Arcturus. Full speed ahead."

"Yes, sir," said the young man seated closest to him. "ETA one-hundred and twenty minutes."

"Very good."

Kahlee began to finally feel guilty about assuming Holsase's position as she watched his jaw tighten and his unblinking eyes stare through the thin viewscreen into space. She did not know what pen-pushing job awaited him at the Station, but she could tell he considered it demotion. But it was hardly Kahlee's fault that she had been promoted. Her command of her previous ship had been brilliant, and she had saved a great many lives. Some were even calling her a hero.

Still, though.

"I'll be in the crew mess, Major, if you need me," she said respectfully as she bowed out of the scene. Might as well let the old fool enjoy his last two hours in charge.

It would be cruel to make him thank her, so she turned and strode purposefully back the way she had come. The young men and women hard at work around her tried not to look, but some found the draw of celebrity too hard to resist. This was the woman who had been involved with the initial research that led to the discovery of _Sovereign_. This was the woman who unwittingly led Saren Arterius to that vile ship. But by contrast, she was the woman who had nearly died because of that mistake, who had fought so hard in so many conflicts, and who had driven back the recent geth assault.

Whatever they may have thought of her, they wanted to see what she looked like in person.

Finally she reached the back of the room and waited for the door to slide open. She walked though and wondered how to occupy the two hours she now had to kill, but just as the door was closing she heard something through it, muffled.

"… _did you say?_" It was the Major's voice. Instinctively, she slammed the button to open the door again and strode through it, moving up the bridge as fast as she could do without actually jogging.

"It's a geth dropship, sir," said a thin young man. A Service Chief.

"And you only just _noticed_ it?" Holsase was confused more than angry, but he didn't let the Chief know that.

"Y… yes sir, it just blue-shifted its emissions. Massively increased speed. We don't know where it's…"

"What's going on?" Kahlee called, sick of watching the Major bully his crewman.

Holsase turned to face her, his face grim. "I'm sure you heard, Colonel. We've just been surprised by a geth dropship in the vicinity. Looks like it saw us and ran."

She nodded quickly. "Pilots, get us turned around and moving. Did you track its co-ordinates?"

Before anyone could answer her, the Major caught her eye and interrupted. "Just a moment, Sanders," he said roughly, "this is still my ship."

They both knew it wasn't, but she didn't have time for an argument, so she conceded. "So would you prefer to let it get away?" she asked coyly.

"Get us moving, pilots," he replied, holding her stare.

The massive starship dragged itself around on its belly as fast as it could manage. It seemed to take an eternity. Glancing down at the pilots' scopes, both of the commanding officers could clearly see the geth troop-carrier escaping them and accelerating all the while. It was anyone's guess as to whether it would still be in range by the time they were ready to advance.

"Faster, damnit," Major Holsase muttered, mainly for his own benefit. The near pilot verbally acknowledged the order anyway and breathed heavily as he returned to work.

Finally the ship stopped turning, and the pilot at the head of the ship's nose said, "In position, sir, ma'am. Accelerating now."

This was taking too long, and the geth ship was not even visible on the scanners now. Forgetting her attempts to placate Holsase, Kahlee stepped forward and loudly demanded, "Faster, pilot. Bring us to FTL speeds, now."

She felt a hot hand yank her arm to one side, forcing her lithe body to follow suit. Holsase's eyes burned into hers.

"FTL speeds are too slow!" he insisted.

"FTL speeds too _slow?_"

"Yes." The Major's nostrils flared with animal aggression as he made one more order. "We'll have to go straight to… OMGWTF speed!"

Now it was Kahlee's turn to be humbled by a sudden loss of control. She stared incredulously at the man, trying to guess if he was serious, wondering if he was in full command of his senses. At this stage, his idea might just have been the only way for them to catch-up with their quarry. But it was too dangerous.

A little smile playing across his lips, Holsase watched her reaction.

"What's the matter, Colonel Sanders…" he asked, leaning his face into her field of vision.

She watched his mouth form the final insult.

"… _Chicken?_"

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**With apologies to Drew Karpyshyn and Mel Brooks.**


End file.
